How do I get over his porn addiction???

Question

We've had to share a phone these past few months and I keep catching him watching porn when he swears to me he'll never do it again. It's caused so many arguments that have almost ruined our relationship. He's seen how much it hurts me. And he's sworn to stop. Now, before you judge me, I don't care if he masturbates. EVERYONE DOES IT. I just care about what he's using to do it. I feel it's disrespectful to me that he's looking at other women. Especially when I've offered to make videos for and with him, and any other requests he had. I've offered to do literally whatever he wants. He never takes me up on it. Not once. I'm 6 months pregnant right now and still offering to have sex with him every day just to prevent it and he claims he's too tired most of the time. Can someone please give me some advice here because I love this man so much it hurts and I don't want to grow to resent him. I want to be able to trust him again and feel like he loves me just as much. He's my best friend and I don't want to lose him or have to walk away from him.

Answer

You don't need to get over it, he does.

Answer

Being in your position at one point but still with my husband. You have to realize and remember him watching porn has nothing to do with the way he feels about you! As long as his watching isn't a constant thing it's normal for men to watch porn. I don't approve of it whatsoever and feel violated when he does. However just remember it's not about lusting over other women. My husband let me know it's just the act. He is away a lot due to being military so I have to understand he has needs when gone. Communicate with him calmly ask him questions like what does it do for him? Reassure him you want to understand so it doesn't hurt you. That's my best advise. It helped me

Answer

He needs to get help.  My husband is a psychologist and has actually helped quite a few men with their addiction.  Just like all other addictions, there is usually some underlying issue that's causing him to do it.  See if he's willing to get help and then help him find a male therapist to see.

Answer

He might need help. It's hard to stop when it's a compulsion. My husband had this problem when he was a young man and he stopped mainly for religious reasons, which I think makes it easier because you have a strong reason and it also has to be his own idea because just like losing weight or quitting smoking, it has to come from you or it just won't last. From what my husband tells me, the compulsion is verrryyy strong (he likens it to that smoking commercial where the guy grabs the kid during prom and brings him outside) but as he "succeeds" it gets easier and easier to withstand the temptations. And he'll start to recognize patterns of what triggers the thoughts and can try to nip it in the bud, so to speak. Good luck! It will be a hard road and hopefully he will find his own reason to quit so that he can be successful.

Answer

You can't force yourself to get over it. That's not fair to you. If he isn't really making an effort to stop or fix the problem then leave.

Personally that's not a problem I'd want to deal with but that's because I could never be with a man who watched porn, I consider it cheating.

How do I get over his porn addiction???

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