am I selfish

I want to buy from melt cosmetics soo bad. I've heard great things and as it's my first order obviously I want everything I want all at once. I've also been looking forward to this for over a year. If I buy from them I won't be getting my family Christmas gifts. I'm 17.i don't have a job (I'm looking and applying) . I'd be saving up allowance to get anything anyhow

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