How to deal? Single FTM

Question

I'm 12 weeks 2 days. 
We had this talk where I asked for a little space, so he could get his life together and focus on himself while we still worked on our relationship before baby. He took that as an opportunity to run. I've tried everything. Talking, writing, he agreed to meet with me to speak but then he bailed on me. He hasn't even asked how the baby is doing. It's as if we don't exist or matter to him. 
& as blessed as I feel for having such a healthy baby I'm so crushed at the same time. He's missing everything, again. He has another child he didn't stick around for. And for some reason I thought maybe he would seize this opportunity to be the parent he never was. I see all you happy Mommy's, married and doing so well. All these planned pregnancies and I feel like such a fool. & although this was an accident I'm still so happy. It's just hard to cope with being single through it when it takes 2 to make a baby. I'm 20. I take care of myself, have a good job, support from my family. And I know I'm more than capable of handling this. Some days I just feel like something is missing. :/

Answer

I am going through the exact same thing with my unborn baby's father. It's depressing some days. If you ever need to talk I am here.

Answer

I'm sorry your journey into parenthood isn't what you expected/envisioned.

I would recommend taking some time to mourn the family you had envisioned.  It is ok to feel bummed that things didn't go according to your plans.

After the mourning period, try to focus on the positives in your situation.  Having a supportive family and a good job are great things.  In time, you might actually find the baby's fathers peace out to be the best thing for your family.

I know that sounds crazy that his leaving could be a good thing, but I have a close friend whose husband cannot tolerate kids.  When they first got married, he went on and on about wanting a huge family, but then realized he doesn't like kids as much as he thought he would after they were born.  My friend has what appears to be the perfect family, but it is really hard to live with a spouse who is physically able to help but won't.

Answer

In my opionin a dad is someone who sticks with you through good and bad. He is a sperm doner and if he isn't around now its better for that baby to never have to miss something that it got used too. I know it's sad for you and it's hard but you seem like you have a strong family who will support you and you will meet someone nice at some point. For now baby is most important, he is the one who will miss out on the precious moments you will be there. So don't worry.

Answer

Just because most of these people paint a pretty picture, doesn't mean everything is all good with them. Use your support! Those are people that loved you before baby, and will love you after. Be open. It sucks to talk about and nobody 'wants' to be a single mom, but I promise opening up and talking about how you feel can make a world of difference. As for douchebag, don't stress it. You can't make someone be a father...just be prepared for when the baby comes. Focus on yourself and having a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Answer

I'm on my 3rd but when I was a ftm I did the pregnancy on my own . It did hurt and I tried my best to invite him to every appointment and class but he may have only came to like 3. I finally decided stressing over him was not going to help my unborn child so I just prayed and relied on friends and family.  A month before my son was due he seemed to have gotten it together and he has been there ever since and we are now married and expecting # 3. Hopefully for you and his child  he will get it together but if not you have to do what's best for you and your child. Try to stay strong and don't stress . Everything will work out how it should that can mean with him or without him.

How to deal? Single FTM

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