Am I a sex addict or just a slut?

So I've been doing some research after being concerned about my need to have a man around me.

My mother left me when I was 14 and grew up hearing bad things about my father.

After my mother left I started feeling very alone and abandoned and started to sleep with men at a young age just so I could feel wanted.

I got into a relationship for 3 years when I was 16 and was unfortunately cheated on in the end.

I was turned off other men and sex for a while but now the last year I began to feel lonely again and noticed I'm back into my old habits.

I date guys short term but then ghost them when I stop getting the same want I was given at the beginning. I get lots of attention from men that are genuinely wanting to be with me but I feel I don't want them that way because I don't think one man could fulfil my emotional cravings.

I met another guy (as per usual) a while ago and if I was to build a man it would be him. He's 6'5", dark, muscly, plays professional football, he's sweet and treats me like a princess.

He slept over the last two nights but before he left for work today he told asked me where I wanted to be in 5 years. I told him my career goals etc. then asked the same question to him.

He said he wants to be married in around 4-10 years, have kids and finished with his footfall career goals. he said he doesn't want to fuck around and he asked if I was a time waster, a girl that will get bored after a couple of weeks.

The answer is yes, but I said no. Simply because when he asked where I wanted to be in 5 years, family wise I want the same thing. He's perfect, he makes me so happy. But so do other men at the start. This opened my eyes and made me realise what I was doing.

Either way, when he left, I still desired what he did. But at the same time looked up male escorts to satisfy me while he was absent. I wasn't looking for a porn style male escort, I wanted the boyfriend experience- because I want to feel wanted in his absence.

How does one deal with this? Do I let a man from a childhood dream that would better and complete my life in many ways go? Or am I simply not ready?