Its all my fault

So I started seeing this new guy, very recently. And I found out yesterday that he thinks that I am going to be the one to fuck it up. 😫

I have borderline personality disorder, which causes sever mood swings and extreme emotional reactions among other things. I have spend a lot of time since my diagnosis to get better and learn to handle the mood swings because there are no meds for it. I found out I had it at the end of my last relationship and it made me feel like all of our issues were my fault.

I still have a very rocky relationship with my ex, we dated on and off for 9 months and he is my first real love/adult relationship. I would do anything for that guy because I am a very loyal and caring person, and of course he knows it and seems to be using it in a bad way. I know that he is not meeting my needs as a supportive friend but it is very hard for me to create boundaries, I am working on it.

Before I started seeing the new guy I was seeing 3 guys at once(one was him). I liked him more than the other 2 from the beginning so I cut things off with the other guys. I do have a very complicated past when it comes to guys and he knows it. All of this makes him feel like I am going to be the one of mess things up. I am very happy with him, I am always smiling, I love spending time with him, my ex had surgery the other day and I totally forgot about it.

I don't want to fuck this up like I feel like I do with everything. But the fact he already thinks it, is making me freak out. It's the whole, if you think something bad is gonna happen then it is gonna happen. I don't know what to do or how to think about it.