I went too far and tore my hymen on my own

I may have torn my hymen on my own last night on Facetime while feeling super horny with my crush. I regret taking it this far, I didn’t think it through too much because I’ve inserted small objects inside me before but this time I upgraded to 2 and went harder and faster it eventually tore and bled.. while my plan was to try to keep my hymen intact. I feel guilty for not thinking straight.. when my mom found out she gave me so much shit for not listening to her to keep my hymen intact instead of tearing it up for my crush to please myself and him at the same time.. I was just so triggered seeing my neighbor making out with her new boyfriend I got so triggered and it felt my usual method of rubbing wasn’t cutting it anymore.. I feel awful for tearing my hymen up.. :/ :(

Reply to Mrs. B : because I was afraid she’d find the sheets covered with blood and she keeps pressuring me to keep it intact.. she had caught me inserting objects inside me before and told me to stop and I ended up not thinking straight and doing it again.. and the thing is mine tore over masturbating myself and doing what my crush told me to do..