Shoud I stay or should I go ?

Sorry for the long post !!

Need help here !!!! Please vote and comment why !

I don't know where to start because it's extremely hard to talk about this subject.

I'm 35 and I have been with my husband for 8 years (married for 2). When I met him he had different phobias and was very anxious. Our sex life was very different from the beginning. He's more straightforward and I like to explore and try new things in bed. At the beginning of our relationship we didn't connect sexually speaking. It was awkward. I told him what I like and how I like it and that surprised him. For him, you don't talk about sex you just do it. I was the first girl who expressed her needs and desires and how I like to be touch etc. It came as a surprise for him since he felt what he was doing was right and no one else challenged him before. Since he was insecure and anxious back then he didn't felt good enough. He's a perfectionist and always wants to be the number 1 in anything he does so I guess I bruised his ego.

Unfortunately, fast forward 8 years later, I think we have sex like twice a year !!! He says that back then my comments destroyed his confidence and now he can't perform. Every time we try to be intimate he can't be in the mood and doesn't want to do it. He went to therapy a year ago and finally left me. He said he wanted me to be happy and have a healthy sexuality and he was not able to satisfy me. He dated a women and I was almost happy for him to hear that is libido and confidence was back. I dated other guys and finally felt desirable (I almost forgot what it felt like). After 2 months (we were still texting often) he told me he missed me and I missed him so much as well. I asked him if he thinks that he changed and wants to move forward and start from fresh (if there is such a thing) -;) So we are back together now and 6 months later nothing changed !!! I feel we are 2 best friends and our relationship is great if we stay away from sex. If we talk about it or try we fight and are negative about our whole marriage. I don't have a problem having sex with him but I think he sees me as a best buddy not as a sexual desire women. He can't seems to see me differently (I can say honestly that I am attractive and don't have problem finding interested men). When in the past I flirted in front of him with a cute guy to see his reaction we ended back home having the best sex in years!! I can't understand him !!

He is my best friend

He is a carrying, loving and funny man

He is handsome

We get along so well and have the same interests ( travel, humor, movies, etc)

We truly have fun together EVERY DAY!

He is not gay ( I asked him a lot of times -:)

He tells me often I'm pretty

He's very affectionate

But he is so in his head and very disconnect from is sexuality

He doesn't have problems when he masturbates

He is not cheating on me (even if it seems so), we are very honest with each other (sometimes too honest)

I suggest we could try a threesome with another female (he's not interested)

I suggest we could try a swinger club to see if people having sex would turn him on (he's not interested)

That's WHY it is so hard to let go !!

If it was easy and we didn't had that strong bond I would let him go BUT I do love him and wants children with him but will we ever change from that situation ?

Does anyone ever been in my shoes ?

Please I really need help and don't know how to get it!!