Troubled Soul

I'm a twenty four year old black single female. I recently had an abortion at seven weeks. I thought I was being safe. I was on birth control. I still got pregnant. He was no Prince Charming but I somehow got caught up in him. I currently work a part time job. I have some college. I live with my parents and I sleep in a twin size bed. I have no car. I have a history of starting on the right track and getting detoured by BS. I own up to that. I'm in no state to take on such a life changing responsibility. It wouldn't have been fair to either of us. He recently had a baby three monthd ago. All I could think was "I can't do this!" .My mom was a single parent. I'm the oldest of three. I was eleven years old watching my baby brother when my mom went to work because no adults would help her. I grew up fast. Around the age of thirteen I knew I didn't want to be a mom. I know you may say but I was too young to know that. 11 years later my mind hasn't changed. I don't regret my decision. I have some things that I must get in order for my own sanity and well being. I just really wish other women would support those of us that don't want children. Telling me I'll grow out of it or it's just a phase means hurts. I don't believe that if I don't givie birth that my life was a waste. It's a hard decision to make to terminate a pregnancy. I have fallen to my kInees and asked for guidance and closure with my situation. I decided to write this as my final farewell to the situation. I have a heart full of inlove. I'm not a bad person. I just made a decision that I'll have to answer for. Maybe there's somebody out there like me. I know that God will heal your mind,body and spirit. Forgive yourself. Whatever is heavy on your heart,forgive yourself.