I need someone to talk to ..

I feel sad. 24/7. I hate that I need attention and that's not what I'm getting from the only person I want it from. I hate that I I would rather make myself completely feel miserable than happy. I wish things were different even though at the same time I don't want nothing to change. I go everyday trying to make one person happy and I don't get anything in return no kiss, no hugs, no I love yous. I'm so close to someone I can't even play with in public. I put someone before myself, my family, my friends. Everything is connected to it. My feelings for that whole day and week. I'm sad, the only time, it's ok when I'm around someone. I cry when I'm alone and I don't know why. I can feel my heart breaking and my chest get tight. I shouldnt say I hate my life when he's not talking to me or mad at me. I shouldn't hate myself over someone. I block out everything I hear for one person that don't have the same feelings. That's why I'm the only one hurt. Now I'm crazy, I check all socials but I can't get through ever when I mention something, nothing works, I'll never be the only one. My heart hurts to know there will be a time I have to let go, idk when or how long I'll let this happen I know we won't be together though. I guess that's what hurts the most is knowing it's all for nothing