Single moms

I'm hoping that maybe by sharing my story I can find someone that can relate to the struggles I'm trying to overcome. 

Let me start by saying becoming pregnant literally saved me and already has made me grow so much as a person for the better. I was not planning and never was even sure if I would ever have kids. I believe everything happens for a reason.

This past year was by far the hardest year of my life, and to make a long story short I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship that was going downhill fast and I couldn't figure out why. I soon found out my boyfriend had been taking pills frequently enough to use the rent money and bill money I had given him towards his habits. I tried to stand by him, to get him help because I loved him not only as a boyfriend but as a friend. But he was in denial, he was manipulative and would keep lying. Instead of trying to change he put me down. After a few months of a break we reunited and I realized after a traumatic rebound relationship maybe people can change.

So I tried to make things work and thought he was better until I found out once again he was still using and lying. After that I never wanted to see him again... He broke my heart and clearly wasn't going to change.

I started to go out and party and be single for the first time in 5 years and fell hopelessly for a bad boy that made me feel invincible. I fell too hard too fast and was left broken hearted when he just stopped seeing and talking to me. I found out there was another girl that he was just playing me.

At the time I was still getting my periods until after our falling out I kept bleeding and it wasn't normal.

I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant, ending my first trimester!! I couldn't understand how I could have been pregnant when I was still bleeding but apparently that is normal. So now I'm left with the question who is really the dad? 

After all the scares me and my ex have had in the past, I figured with his pill popping he was sterile! So is it the manipulative liar or the guy that wants nothing to do with me?

Everytime I read a pregnancy post or article it's all these happy couples which I admire.

Despite the drama and trauma I wouldnt change being pregnant for anything. I actually really love it and I realize I don't need a guy even though it is hard at times.

I understand my story is pretty unique and crazy but can anyone at all relate??