Thoughts on living together before marriage?

Question

What are your thoughts on living together before marriage? Also, what have your experiences been like/how long were you together before you moved in together?

Answer

It doesn't make Abe's to me to not live together wrote being married. You don't truly know a person until you share your home. My husband and I lived together for 5 years before we were married. Have been married over four now. I'm so glad all the little kinks in sharing a space were worked out before we got married, marriage is tough enough, throwing in not knowing each other on that intimate level is strange to me.

Answer

Would you buy a car without driving it first? Probably not.
Same thing to me.

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I personally wouldn’t do it and I don’t agree with it because of religious reasons. I feel like it’s nice to get married then live together. If it happens before getting married I don’t see what’s special about it. You’ve already done it so there isn’t that new experience to look out for after the wedding.

Answer

I think it's totally normal to live together before you get married. you don't truly know someone untill you live with them and see them everyday in all their glory. imagain marrying someone being on a total high then moving in and realising they leave their clothes on the bathroom floor everyday and the toilet seat up. would be a bit of a crash back down to reality atleast if you've lived together first you can truly say you love them and all their habits!

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my husband and I never had a first date. We were both military (I still am) and we were both in Rhode Island. I knew who he was but due to dating rules in the military, we didn't speak much. Plus we both were seeing other ppl at the time. After a couple months I had to move cross country while he was getting out of the service. He hit me up on fb and we started talking while I was moving from RI to Arizona. He asked if he could come visit and I said yes, even though I barely knew him. He never left, we got married 10 months later, had our 1 yr anniversary Oct 1, are expecting a baby girl in Dec! He's my best friend and a wonderful hubs and stepfather to my 7 yr old. So...we never had a first date so to say. He moved right in from day 1 and he's just perfect for me!!

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Would you buy a car before test driving it? My husband and I started dating when we were 18. We moved into the same house when we were 21 but we lived as roommates - had separate rooms, etc. Then we had to do long distance for two years for school. And then, we finally moved in together as a couple when we were 24, got married at 26, and now we're 29 and expecting our first kiddos 😊 wouldn't change a thing

Answer

I've lived with my partner for 4 years now. We aren't married but are now common law. It all depends on your values. I personally don't have a problem with not being married and living together especially because we both don't like weddings (don't like to party, be the centre of attention, etc)... one day I'm sure we'll get married but I'd rather spend the money on a house and our daughter. We are Christian and attend regular church services but we have an open mind when it comes to this. In my mind, we are both committed and don't really need to prove that to anyone, although we both have rings (we don't wear yet) lol and he sometimes calls me his wife but I prefer the word partner as it doesn't imply ownership and I feel is a great term as it doesn't exclude same sex couples. I love that I say partner and some people ask if my partner is a guy or girl.

Answer

It depends. I think as long as you don't have kids and aren't financially dependent on him, it can be a good idea. Very eye opening. But if you have kids, don't do it. A breakup like that just becomes another divorce and it's awful for them. You have to be able to step away at any time if it becomes an unhealthy situation, so make sure you have your finances and a support system in order in case things go south. 
But assuming that's all good, moving in together can help you see whether or not you can sustain a lifetime with someone based on how your lifestyles and habits mesh. Do his cleaning habits, sleeping patterns, financial values, or how he spends his time bother you enough to not be compatible? Do you spend enough time together? Does he criticize your living style? Criticism and contempt can be toxic, so making sure neither partner is judgmental is critical. It's also helpful to see when conflict does arise, how do you work it out? Is it healthy conversation? Is it constructive or mean and passive aggressive? So much to learn about another person, and even yourself. You have to be ready and willing to learn about your own faults and be loving enough to compromise for the betterment of the partnership.

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I don't see a problem with people living together before their married. My SO and I are only waiting because we desire a significant change in the relationship when we do get married. We have so many friends who have lived together before marriage and when we ask them how's married life, they always say, "the same as before!" 
We just want distinct chapters to our life together.

Answer

i don’t want to live with my partner before marriage . it’s not for religious reasons , i just personally want to be able to cut and run if i have to . i don’t want to be stuck in a dead end relationship because i have to wait till the lease is up , or because i can’t support myself financially on my own . i hear waayyy too many horror stories about people living with their exes . yuck . plus , i find that when you move in with someone , you kinda lose your sense of self . you start doing everything with them and you stop appreciating the value of your own company . i don’t want that to happen to me before it’s time . and everyone has that argument “well how are you gonna know what someone is really like unless you live with them ?!” i can spend the night . hell , i could even spend multiple nights in a row . living with someone isn’t the only way to get to truly know them . i hate how people nowadays always put the horse before the carriage . it just doesn’t suit me or make any sense to me .

Thoughts on living together before marriage?

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