My version of a fairytale

I have chronic depression, and I'm only 19. I used to believe that one day everything would be rainbows and butterflies, but sadly, life isn't the fairytale we'd been told about when we were kids. Instead, life is challenging. Some days are so good, where I feel like I've never been sad before. Then there are days that are so bad, where they feel like I am the saddest person to ever walk this earth. This rollercoaster of depression is often misunderstood by many people. A lot of people mistake depression as "sadness". But sadness is a normal human emotion. Depression is like total emptiness, yet it feels so incredibly heavy. It's like you're in a bathtub of sadness and sometimes it becomes an ocean. It's hard to not drown. But the important thing that I have learned is that it IS possible to be happy again. I'm not here to convince you that life gets better, but I can tell you it truly does. I spent years of my life in and out of hospitals, attempting suicide over and over again. I did not want to be in this world. I struggled so badly that I was hardly able to stand it. But eventually, I got so tired of always struggling. I looked at other peoples' lives and craved for mine to be as seemingly good as their's is. Overtime, I realized that giving up simply isn't an option, and if I'm going to be forced to live this life, I better enjoy it, because I'm so sick of suffering. So fast forward to now, I work hard everyday to work with my depression. It has subsided, with the occasional wave of worsened mood. But I force myself to get up every morning, take my prescribed medication, to eat all my meals, to take a shower, to brush my teeth, to go to school, and to see friends and family. I am living a life that I once wanted so bad. I feel more important and purposeful. Don't get me wrong, this improved mood took days and days of practice. And there are still days where even after all I've tried, I'm still horribly sad. But my point to this post is to let anyone know who is struggling, that recovery IS possible. That you can get better through hard work. I know hearing these things while you're depressed seems like a huge joke. But coming from one depressed person to the other, this life is this beautiful thing that deserves to be lived. Sure, it has it's downs, but it also has it's ups and those ups in life make life worth it. Because you're worth enough to atleast give yourself another chance to live your life.