feeling down

it feels nothing will make this inner sadness go away, my bf is supposed to come see me for a weekend at the end of the month

i am working 2 jobs so I dont have time, in a long distnance relationship

last night we were talking about what we could do and it just didnt feel right, i got a tight feeling in my chesr and i cried

it seemed he was not really wanting me to stay with him, he was worried id get in trouble with my parents (theyre very strict)

I always end up in trouble anyway, but I even said he was telling me hes not worth getting in trouble for (granted it gets bad, them calling me names and making me feel bad)

I want to keep strong but lately I have not been in the right place, he tries to help me out of that state of mind, I give him that

I am just so tired, I want to feel good and stay good 😞 ive been so insecure lately