I miscarried back in mid-August, and the thought of trying again just broke my heart every day for a while. I can’t think of anything that I’ve wanted my whole life more than I want to be a mom. There are some things that you feel you are meant to do, and being a mom is one of mine. It seemed so unfair that my baby had to be the one that was taken away, but I have been met with so much love and support from many women who have been down this exact same road, and they all went on to have healthy pregnancies and babies.

My husband and I have planned to take a long weekend trip just the two of us to enjoy some time and be together, and we’ve also decided for that weekend to be the weekend we throw caution to the wind and stop using birth control for the second time as we try again.

For a while after my miscarriage, the thought of trying again, seeing that positive pregnancy test that I longed for, and being pregnant seemed absolutely terrifying. As a person who loves control over all areas of my life, pregnancy is the one thing I have absolutely no control over. I can’t stop another miscarriage from happening no matter how badly I want to. One day, I was walking through target and I saw this onesie. It was hanging on the front rack in the baby section as I walked by, and it seemed like a sign. I know that I am meant to be a mom and I can’t let my own fear stand in my way. It seems strange to put a definitive date on trying again, but it gives me a sense of peace and control before it is completely out of my control.

I want to thank many of the wonderful women on Glow for reaching out and empathizing with me through one of the darkest times in my life. Without this community, I fear that I may not have been as successful in reaching this point emotionally.