first pregnancy, very terrible..😞😞😔😢

you know this has been the worst experience that i have ever been through and i did not at all expect my first pregnancy this bad because of the bf. i have really really gone through alot and til this day i still am. ive been the one trying to deal with everything and cope and pray to God for better for myself and this little one. let alone i will not be having a babyshower at all. im just simply buying and getting what this little one needs on my own the bf is veing very difficult yet has placed me in a very bad bad situation because of his wrong most wrongest doing abd mistake because of an ex! I have felt nothing at all but PAIN, HURT AND SADDNESS THROUGH MOST OF THE pregnancy I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO COPE OR FEEL ANYMORE!!! 😢😢😢😣😞 I leave it all in Gods hands I trust him more than ever! 😢😞 This is just very terrible and i will never ever experience what it really feels to have a babyshower the joy and happiness of really having a baby!😢😢