PP OCD/ Anxiety

Hello I wanted to see how you guys coped with pp ocd/ anxiety im 5 weeks postpartum and have been having these violent/ sexual thoughts about my baby I feel so alone and disgusted with myself im always crying due to the sexual thoughts that pop up in my head Its gotten so bad that I avoid changing my babys diapers and showering him and I want to know if theres anyone thats been through this or is it just me.? 😞 I feel guilty and like a bad mom I love my LO so much wish I could just enjoy him like a normal mom does but I feel so unhappy and disgusted with myself😭

"I live daily to what if this or that " i feel like ima go nuts and im embarassed and scared to tell someone I feel like im going to get my baby taken away😨 if i say something. Help has anyone went through this or is it just me.??