Update: Help with Caregivers please!!!

Sooooo I talked to my in laws. Went worse than expected. We told them why she was going 5 days and that it wasnt personal she just needs routine. They were unbelievably rude and hurtful. It was a bunch of how could you do this to us? Everyone knows we have her on Thursday... you dont even care about our feelings....etc etc

I explained this isnt about them its about her which was met with mockery

I put my foot down and calmly said we are her parents and are doing what is best for her. They said we are her grandparents and we know whats best for her! You think sending her with strangers five days a week is best? She wont do well there....

Honestly it was horrible. Then they literally started talking to my 5mo old saying ok grandma and grandpa love you even tho we will never see you anymore...looks at my hubby and me and says here you go, dont you have somewhere else to be? Real life. What now????

Past story: I have a five-month-old baby at home, she's out first child. She goes to daycare Monday through Wednesday and then on Friday. On Thursday she's with my in-laws. Like clockwork, every time she comes home on a Thursday night, she's a disaster. Normally she functions very much on routine, including sleeping at the same time, going down easy. On Thursday night she either won't go down, won't eat, throws up, or is very fussy. We have tried teaching my in-laws how we want her taken care of, but without fail every Thursday it's the same. Im not sure they are even doing what we ask.When she comes home from daycare, she's like a dream and it's never a problem. My in-laws when I talk to them are incredibly defensive. I even try to suggest that it may not be them it may just be her and needing routine. Their response? Ive never heard of all this "routine"....like a jab at my parenting. I'm so frustrated and want to just send her to day care five days a week, but we were trying to give them time together. The situation is even more complicated by the fact that my husband is an only child and this is their only grandchild. But do I keep sacrificing our daughters needs and our sanity on Thursdays for their peace and happiness? I don't know if it would destroy our family for them not to have her