Normal or not... Thoughts?

Question

So... I’m 19, almost 20, sophomore in college,, and I’ve only really had three relationships. None of which were super serious. The last one was a couple years ago. I’ve kissed maybe 2-3 guys, and I’m still a virgin. Aaaaand that’s all my experience. 
People tell me all the time “oh it’s normal you’ll find someone and be ready to give yourself to him.” I’m ready to start a serious relationship but I’m afraid that it’ll just be like “oh you’re a virgin! How cute” because guys have said that to me before. Kinda gets to me. As if it should matter that I’m a virgin. I’m overweight, maybe about 200lbs and 5’5” and I’m so self conscious. 
On a sidenote, I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so maybe that’s why I’m letting all of this get to me so much 😂
I guess my real reason for posting this is that I’m afraid it’ll be a total turnoff that I’m overweight and a virgin along with other things. I’m sure as hell not going to lower my standards just to get some, and I still want my first time to be with someone I really care about at the time. I know it won’t matter who it was with in the future but in the moment, when it’s happening, I want to feel like it will, you know? I know that if the guy really truly cares for me, he won’t care what I look like but how am I going to even get a guy when I can’t even look at myself and think I look good? 
Sorry that this post is all over the place, but so is my mind! All my friends are in serious relationships or pregnant and I just wanna find someone to call my own. Tinder and POF haven’t really been working out, and my coworker-crush isn’t really going anywhere (mostly because I chicken out anytime I think about asking him out, fear of rejection leading to awkwardness in the workplace) but if you guys have any advice or thoughts, I would much appreciate it! ❤️

Answer

I was 19 almost 20 when I lost my virginity. I am also self conscious about my body, I never wanted to be necked in front of a guy. I’m overweight too, 210lbs and 5’5. When I got with my bf (now husband) he kept reassuring me he liked me just the way i am. Took me a while to get used to finally having a bf but I knew when I was ready to give up my virginity to him. He was with 2 other women before me so he was experienced, but now we’ve been together almost 5yrs and have a baby boy together. I’m his longest relationship too 🙂 you’ll know when the time is right! Don’t rush things and definitely don’t lower your standards for anyone. You are fine just the way you are and the right guy will love you for you and not what you look like!

Answer

alright girlfriend. i didn't lose my virginity until i was 20. it was on my 20th birthday to be exact. i was absolutely terrified to be naked in front of another person, let alone giving myself fully to another person and being completely vulnerable. you're beautiful just the way you are and don't let a damn person tell you different. someone will come along and love every curve, every spot, every freckle, every insecurity you have... everything about you. that's the person you should give yourself up to. i so wish i would have saved myself for the person i'm with now, but we all make mistakes. i lost it to a person i thought i was going to be with for the rest of my life, i thought we were in love. the feeling i have still, to this day, of knowing i lost it to someone who didn't give two shits about me still really bothers me. don't worry about what anyone thinks of you because like i said before, there is someone out there that it going to love every single thing about you. love yourself before you try to love someone else. good luck babes, keep your head up😘❤

Normal or not... Thoughts?

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