When to “finalize” the decision to be done with kids

Question

Curious about opinions, my husband and I are in agreement that he’ll have surgery to prevent more babies (we thought we were done at baby #3 but are expecting baby #4 now!) He wants to have the surgery while I’m pregnant, but I don’t feel exactly comfortable with that...I’m not sure why. I’d be more comfortable if he waited till after baby is here and healthy. What do you all think?

Answer

I would wait. I knew someone who had a healthy baby and then it got sick at 3 weeks and died but she got her tubes tied during delivery (c-section) and now she only has 1 baby and I can't imagine not having the choice to have another after the grief has passed. Not that anything would replace the loss but I think i would be heartbroken to know I wouldn't have more.

Answer

I would wait until the child was one year old. My sisters daughter passed due to SIDS at 6 months and it was devastating (she has 4 kids now) but that experience shook our family. I'm pregnant with our third and won't get a tubal for that reason. I don't want to have any regrets down the road.

Answer

I had my tubes removed when I had my 3rd baby. My children are 3, 1.5, and 6 weeks old. I also have a 14 year old stepson. with all of my children being so close and our financial situation I THOUGHT I never wanted any more children but now it drives me crazy to know that if I ever change my mind that I can't have any more. I don't have that option and I wish I did. Personally I would just be put on a 5 year birth control.

Answer

I am curious the same thing! How did everyone unite when they were done? I thought we were good with just two and before we could take the time to ensure our decision we are currently pregnant with#3.  Maybe it's the hormones but he keeps asking to get snipped and I'm sitting here wondering if I may want another or will this be it?  I dunno. Maybe it's always a phase to have baby fever every now and then? But what's the deciding factor?

Answer

My hubby is scheduling the consult for his vasectomy next month, and I’m getting my tubes tied during my c-section in February.
We have two boys already and I’m pregnant with a girl, so we are well and truly done.

Answer

That’s what my sister and her husband did. It’s up to you. You can’t get pregnant while pregnant, so waiting really doesn’t matter.

Answer

Wait... just in case 🤷‍♀️

Answer

I think you should wait then. The last thing you need while pregnant is to worry about that. My husband and I are done at 2. We had 3 mc in between our kids so we decided not to try for a third and end on a win. We had decided if I needed a c section I’d get my tubes tied but I couldn’t commit. Didn’t end up with a c section anyway but I wouldn’t have got the procedure even if I had because I wasn’t comfortable. I didn’t want that sadness affecting my baby blues. Hubby will get snipped in a couple years and we’ll just not get pregnant until then with other measures.

When to “finalize” the decision to be done with kids

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