I give up.

We’ve been trying to get pregnant for 2 years. I finally did my first trial of clomid to prepare me for an IUI procedure. Well the clear blue tests for LH kept coming up negative. Despite this, I know my body. Last night into today I had lower left abdominal pain and my cervical mucus was really raw egg white - more than usual. I know that means I’m fertile. I go in for an Ultrasound and Bloodwork. I have 5 to 6 good sized follicles and a few small ones. Bloodwork shows I’m fertile. They do not want to proceed and instructed me not to have sex for the rest of this cycle because there’s a chance all of the follicles could fertilize and it would be too dangerous.

Fine. The problem is:

I’m switching jobs very soon. With my current insurance I met my deductible for the year, and the clomid and IUI is free until the insurance is up (which is when I leave this job). With my new job I will have another high deductible to meet before the end of the year (2 months) and then will have another to meet for next year. I cannot afford to wait to have this done again.

I feel like my one and only good shot at this just blew up in my face.

I cannot stop crying. I feel completely hopeless. I just can’t do it anymore.