Stern?

Question

I have a one year old daughter. I was told I was not stern enough towards her. Example when she throws a temper tantrum because she doesn’t want to go to sleep or hold my hand to walk to the park I talk to her and let her know that is not ok. This is my first child why would I want to yell at her she’s one and learning. Basically called a pushover smh which hurts me and makes me feel I’m failing as a mother 😔😢

Answer

You sound like a patient and caring mother. Everyone is going to give parenting advice, it’s best just to smile and move on.

Answer

I have a 15 month old. I don't think a 1 year old can really differentiate stern and mean. I mean, kids & babies are surprisingly smart, but I don't think that you yelling at a baby is going to get them to behave the way you want, if that makes sense. It just upsets them further. I'd recommend getting parenting help & advice from experts that are in line with the parenting style you want to have.

Answer

Hahaha I am a pushover too! I always have been with kids. Don’t overthink it 😀 It sounds like you still tell her no when she isn’t listening which is great (even if she doesn’t take you seriously which is typically toddler behavior.)
As long as you aren’t giving in (ex: she stands up on a chair and you just laugh and encourage it) she will be totally fine! Keep trying to be stern with her. She’s at that age of testing limits so this is all normal. You’re doing perfectly fine 😀

Answer

I'm in no way a pushover, but I definitely take the approach of explaining things to my 3 yr old, if you just tell them 'no' all the time, without telling them why, they won't understand. I definitely can be a little too honest sometimes though. I went on vacation and we were on the 7th floor so we put tape on the floor of the balcony and she wasn't allowed to cross that line because 'if she did, she could fall through the bars and down to the ground and break her head open and die' lol she was like 'ok'

Answer

People are quick to judge and comment on the parenting of others. Respect is taught by example and by giving her that respect you will see it returned toyou. My son since a very young age doesnt listen if hes shouted at, but whenever i would come down to his level and speak to him he would do as I asked. You are doing an amazing job and if anyone tells you otherwise tell them to mind their own

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You sound fine. I would so the same. I don’t think there is a need to yell.

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Thank you all so much for y’all comments. Makes me feel a lot better I appreciate it!

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It’s ok not to yell, but ensure that your tone is one with authority and not suggesting another way out.  I teach 4th graders.  I never yell at or degrade them, but they can read my tone and know when I mean business.  For a 1 yo I would explicitly teach her about your tones and as you’re talking to her point to your face when you describe your feeling.  This makes feeling more concrete for little ones.  For instance, if she does something dangerous you look directly at her (at her level) and sternly say “That is NOT ok.  That is VERY unsafe and you could get hurt”.

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Everyone will think they’re a better parent than you.

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I agree. I think it's more of a consistency and coming through with promises. Yelling does nothing but hurt kids somehow. It does sound like you are doing well. It's easy to "parent" someone else's kids. You know yourself and daughter best. ❤️

Stern?

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