Anybody else struggling with Mother's Day coming up?

Question

My mom is abusive and has BPD, but refuses to get help or believe anything is wrong with her.  I have bipolar, and she's a huge part of why I have social anxiety and PTSD.  I recognize my mental illness and have been in treatment for it for many years.  We were estranged for 5 years after I had to get an Order of Protection against my parents for Adult Abuse & Stalking, but now talk on the phone once or twice a month, and exchange snail mail letters. I'm already getting so anxious about Mother's Day coming up because I'll have to call her.  Anyone else getting anxious over MD?

Answer

Mother's Day is unbelievably triggering for me. I hate my mother. She sounds a lot like yours. I cut her out of my life completely earlier this year. Hugs. Being the child of an emotionally abusive narcissist is so hard. I know just how you feel. Take care of yourself- if calling her will trigger you, forgo it, and do something to make YOU feel good that day instead. You are enough.

Answer

I havent spoken to mine since i was 16 & only then bc of a court ordered visitation, and im glad of it. Shes incredibly abusive & neglectful and theres definitely some sort of mental illness at play, but shes refused to seek treatment or help since before i was born. I never intend to speak to her again, but every mothers day sees me very angry & bitter. I HATE mothers day bc its just some sick reminder of everything my mother never was for one single day of my life. Its a miracle i didnt die any number of times because of her. And everyone wants to tell me how i ought to talk to her or what have you because 'its such an important relationship', but its not like im the one who fucked it up. She will never so much as admit any wrongdoing on her part or even attempt to apologize. I dont need that poison in my life.

Answer

I can completely relate! If it's causing you that much anxiety just don't call her. It's not worth the anxiety. If anything send a quick text if you want. I'm seeing my mother but I'm making it short & I told her no gifts or cards. I've always found it hard to buy MD cards. I just wanted to find one that said "Happy Mother's Day! Giving birth to me is the only think I can thank you for because you fucked up the rest of the mothering process. Have a nice day!" But I could never find one so I started "Forgetting " the card or get a generic one.

Anybody else struggling with Mother's Day coming up?

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