UPDATE - 12 DPO and Losing It!

Guys, I'm losing it! I'm 12 dpo today and keep going back and forth on how I feel. One minute, I'm totally convinced I'm pregnant, and the next, I'm like, nooo there's no way. I was so close to leaving work and buying a FRER, and then I chickened out because part of me just knows I'll be staring at that ugly, white BFN, and I'm not ready for that. I've been having mild cramping, heartburn, tender bb's, noticed some blue veins on my chest (let's be real, though, those could've been there all along and I never noticed before lol), and the last 2 days I've had the tiniest bit of pink/brown spotting only when I check my CP or wipe. My CP is still high. This stuff is just too much! I just want the wait to be over whether I get a BFP or not. I want my sanity back!

Update - Broke down and tested with a FRER. BFN. I've decided to peace out for a while, because this stuff has honestly driven me to my breaking point. I'm deleting all of my tracking apps and am just gonna chill for a while. ✌