Boyfriend texting his ex 💔
Okay so last night my boyfriend was hosting his birthday dinner/wine tasting party and a few of our work friends came over. My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk and he dragged me into his bedroom. I was like you have company are you sure you want to do this I feel bad Ignoring them! (Even though I wanted to, I just didn't want to be rude by excusing ourselves) so we end up smashing and then we hear some guests leaving so he gets dressed really fast to walk out to go say bye to them. So I'm alone in his room getting dressed cuz it's actually about time i need to start heading home too, I couldn't remember where I layed my phone so I could check the time but his was laying on the bed so I click the home screen and my heart sinks. 3 texts from his ex girlfriend 😞 he has his phone set up where you can see the text from the lock screen and I only remember one of the texts saying something along the lines of "oh that's right you're drunk huh". And after I read that it clicked in my head that she was probably the girl he was texting all night cuz I saw him on his phone often. I respect his privacy so I didn't go through his messages cuz I trust him but this makes it very hard for me. I plan on confronting him about this because it's bothering me, (after his birthday week is over) but do you think I should be worried? I really love him and I genuinely feel like he feels the same way but why would he be texting his ex? I don't like how this makes me feel uneasy and paranoid.
While I'm venting I would like to mention he barely talks to me (over text) and if I text him first I'm lucky to get a response an hour later, very seldom does he text back pretty quickly. And sometimes when we're together he will be having a text convo with whoever he's talking to right away but I don't get that? (I don't want to be that crazy. annoying, nosey girlfriend who asks who he's texting plus I trust him so I don't care) but now i'm starting to think it's her he's texting? When we're at work I feel like he barely even talks to me too, he goes up to other girls and if I go up to talk to him it's not for very long. Which is weird because we're very open about us dating and he always kissing on me in public and he is very good to me. He is always telling me how lucky he is and how much he really loves spending time. Which is why this confuses me! Why text your ex if things are going SO well!!? We hang out literally every day and things are good, I just have this texting issue with him now.
I really do love my boyfriend and I'm working on being better at communicating on things that bother me before they escalate. Communication is key to a great relationship so I think it's smart to get in the habit of talking about things that are on your mind. He deserves to know how I feel plus this is my business if he's texting his ex, right? I don't want to push him away and make him think I'm crazy but this is hurting me and he needs to know how it makes me feel because my feelings are valid. I want to bring this up calmly and come from a good place so hopefully we can end the ex texting. I'm just so afraid of getting hurt though or him leaving me to take her back 😭
When I first started hanging out with him with a group of friends I believe he was still with his crazy ex but she was leaving and then he started dating the other coworker. He would talk about his ex and how she was the love of his life but was super crazy and suicidal and they ended things.. She ended up studying abroad this past semester and just got back 2 weeks ago so I hope he dosent plan to meet up with her behind my back. First of all I'm thinking if she's psycho why would you wanna talk to her again?? 🤔
Side note: they broke up, then he dated a coworker after crazy girl for like a month (Which I didn't even know my boyfriend was dating our bartender at the time.. they were very discreet about it which is weird to me since we're very open about us which leads me to believe he obviously really likes me, right?) but she ended up getting a better job and ghosted him! He had a hard time with that break up & a week after they broke up, he told me that he has had a crush on me since I started working there me and now we've been together for 4 months :)
Fast forward to now, we're together I've been assuming this whole time he's not been talking to her and now I'm feeling like he's just with me to fill a void.?
I'm a smart woman and I've thought out every scenario in my head but I also think it's good to see things from an outsiders point of view.
I need some outside perspective on what I should do or how you ladies see this situation since I love him so much I'm willing to make this work and my heart is obviously blind. Do you think he's just staying with me for sex and isn't over his ex? 💔