Why me..

I feel so lost with my life. Found out I had herpes & I have nobody to talk to about it.. I've had sex with 4 different people only one was unprotected and that was a boyfriend of 4 years the rest were flings. I feel like I brought this upon myself & I have no support at all. I already know how judgmental people are. I feel like I'll always be lost in this world. I want to find love again.. I can't date because with my anxiety I cannot even picture having to tell someone about this... I found out a year ago but it feels like it's just hitting me now.. I sort of put it off for a year. I felt an uncomfortable feeling down there and the doctor was telling me how it was herpes but a day later the feeling was gone & I haven't felt the feeling since.. I couldn't even see the outbreak. People on here are telling me to get retested but the 1st time it broke me so much that I don't know if I can go through that again. I feel like I'm loosing myself, my mind... sorry just a vent. If someone can offer some advice that'll be nice..