I hate breastfeeding.

I want to love it but in reality for me it sucks. It has its upsides but I don't want to deal with the pain and exhaustion anymore. My daughter is 21 months and I'm 27 weeks pregnant. She still nurses even though my milk is non-existent at this point from the pregnancy. I was so determined to breastfeed her since my oldest daughter I pumped and fed her a bottle but that only lasted for 2-3 months. Now I don't want to start all over and chances are I'll end up breastfeeding my baby and toddler. I feel so selfish just wanting my body back to myself. I really don't want to feed the baby any formula but pumping and bottle feeding breast milk is way to time consuming when I have two other kids. I wish she could have my breast milk without the pain or all night cluster feeds, or the constant thirst, or the 2 hour feeding schedule. I know I'll end up breastfeeding her and will be very upset if for some reason I can't but it's just a lot looking into the future and seeing one or two little piranhas chewing on my nipples for the next couple of years.

I guess I just had to vent and get that off my chest no pun intended.