What to do when your child is the bully? 😢

I’m a mother of a 10yr old girl. Yesterday evening I got a disturbing phone call. The lunch aide told the principal that my daughter was bullying another child. I talked to my daughter about the incident and she reassured me that this student hit her and she hit him back. I asked her several more times before our night ended and she stated again “he hit me, I hit him back”.

Today I made a surprise visit to the school. Talked to the principal, he said it was all on camera, I took a look at it with him. Low and behold my daughter lied to my face. The person she’s bullying is a disabled boy. I watched in disbelief as my daughter and a couple other students taunt this helpless child. There was no audio. So I couldn’t hear what they were saying to him but I seen everything with my own two eyes. The principal said this isn’t the first time it’s happened.

I talked to her again after school and she’s now blaming everybody else but taking accountability for her own actions. Needless to say, I am mortified, ashamed, and heartbroken. Never in a million years did I expect the person I thought I knew inside and out to do such a thing.

What disciplinary actions do I take? What more do I say? I’ve already made her apologize to the child. I have taken all games, electronics, and told her there will be no Christmas this year. But what else can I do to ensure this never happens again.

*My mother said she’s probably just seeking attention because I just had a baby and my focus my seem as if I only care about the new baby. But I feel it’s no excuse. I’m not raising a bully.

EDIT: I forgot to add when I confiscated her tablet I seen she searched on YouTube “How to bully a toddler”

All comments are welcome. Any advice?

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