Settle an argument for me..

When my little family is visiting relatives, I like to have a game plan going in so my husband and I are on the same page. When our 1.5 year old starts getting tired and his nap time is approaching, I want to say our goodbyes. I don't like being the bad guy that has to tell my spouse in front of his grama that we need to leave because toddler A is having a meltdown in the bathroom. I will, but don't like the weirdness.

My husband thinks we should wing it, have no plan, and that our toddler can be overtired and a mess. He says we're the adults so our kid doesn't run the show. It doesn't matter if lunch was supposed to be an hour ago. Aunt S is running two hours late and we have to wait for her..

I put my kids needs first. Alway. Number 1 priority is their needs. Screw expectations or "you haaave to stay for XYZ". my kids schedule (to a point) is what I run my schedule off of. Who wants to put an overtired little one in the car for the 7 hour drive home? Not me. I'm also 8 weeks pregnant so I'm not super happy to be in the car that long because of bad nausea. So crying baby makes it a highway to hell.

So what am I missing?