I gave myself to him

I made a vow to not give myself to anyone sexually until I graduated high school. I’m a senior and highschool now and I broke that vow about 7 months ago. It was During spring break to my now ex boyfriend. When we met I never even thought he would take me by storm the way he did. He was broken and so was I, but he was a sweetheart. We took things slow and kept our business OUR BUSINESS. Eventually we decided to make it official and things slowly started to change. I tried to fix myself for him while he sat and watched. I understood he had emotionally issues and even though it hurt me constantly I tried to work with him through it. I loved him, flaws and all. I tried and tried even after all the times of being called over dramatic for trying to express myself. But it was something about him I couldn’t let go. He was here for me emotionally when I had problems at home or was missing my dad, but when I came to him about things he did that hurt me it was always an issue. We didn’t throw the word love around, we were scared but the times we did say it were the times we needed it the most. He met my family and came around constantly. Although the sex was great there were times I felt he was only with me for that reason. Things started to change even more so I decided to break things off officially. I decided to do that because we were bad and broken, I didn’t want to get to a point of resentment and never speaking again. After we broke up I saw a new chick he was posting, my first instinct was “she’s just to make me jealous..” but I went scrolling away only to find out I had been cheated on 4 months prior to us even breaking up (as far as I know). That completely broke me. I was honest, smart, pretty, humble, funny, and most importantly I supported him through whatever. I loved him to pieces no matter what anyone told me I never doubted him, I trusted him. I just don’t understand guys. You have an amazing girls giving herself 100% to you and you still cheat. I’m so hurt by someone I never thought would hurt me, I thought you had so much integrity but in reality I was just another piece in your game.

“You don’t gotta tell me it hurt, I know it hurt. To lose somebody you love and they not dead, but you dead to me. I love you with all my heart I swear I do, so I forgive you, but I’ll never forget what you did.”