Can someone be my enthusiasm partner? Pretty please!

Hey y'all! I'm writing this and I'm already kinda mortified. But let me start from the beginning: I am 9 weeks 1 day along and my preggo journey so far has been like a minefield of symptoms. I have never known any have ALL of the symptoms that I'm having and to the degree I'm having them. We're talking constant nausea, headaches, ear aches, pelvic soreness, NO sex drive, sore breasts, mood swings, extreme smell sensitivity, food aversions but weird food cravings, and fatigue. Those symptoms are my reality all day, every day. Tylenol and diclegis along with smoothies have been a life saver for me.

Nevertheless, though I feel like I've been run over by a train, I am so ridiculously thrilled to be having a baby! I don't think I've ever been happier in my whole life. But being a human 3D printer is hard and definitely not pretty for me yet.

My husband is struggling and as a result, I've been feeling isolated. He says he's happy and we were both enthusiastic about "trying" for all those months. Though this is my first child, this will be his second. We are in court (and have been for 2 years) trying to get custody of his 9 year old now; the relationship with that mom went down hill when she was 7 months pregnant and it never recovered. I have wanted so badly to give him the positive pregnancy experience that he never had. When we first got married, I was worried that my first time experience being pregnant would be a lonely one to an extent because he will have experienced it all before. He swore that wouldn't be the case. Now fast forward back to present times and back to my so far rough first trimester, and what I feared is coming to fruition.

I understand that I haven't been what we both envisioned for a pregnant woman. My symptoms are intense and my hormones have been all over but I am doing my best. He has reacted by shutting down completely. We've argued and things haven't been very happy for us the last 4 weeks. I feel as if he just expects me to be like the other pregnant woman he has known and experienced. Now, he tells me that things weren't bad at all while his first child's mother was pregnant and that they were "happy" (which is the complete opposite of what I had been told before).

All I want is to feel loved and supported. I want some empathy and a little bit of grace. And above all, I want to share in this excitement with someone.

Is anyone else having a similar experience? Am I really the only one?

And if any of you have any enthusiasm to spare, I'd love for someone to send it my way. Things are kinda lonely over here.

Thanks for listening/reading. It was a long one 😅