Am I not allowed to get mad?

Question

Every time I'm upset or mad about something my husband gets mad at me in return It's the craziest thing it's unfair really and I don't know what to do. It's like I'm not allowed to be upset he'll start pointing out all the reasons he's mad or annoyed which has nothing to do with why I'm upset! I'm so
Sick of it.

Answer

He's trying to classically condition you. 
This is a form of mental abuse.
With this tactic, you'll get the same reaction from him each time will make you stop getting outwardly upset with him because you'll know that you'll get a negative reaction back. i.e. Anger, made to feel poorly about yourself, invalidated etc.
You need to call him out on this and explain how it's extremely important to have your emotions and feelings validated. That this is your time to express how you feel and it's not his time to speak. It can't contribute to the solution of an issue then he shouldn't continue to react poorly.
If that doesn't work then you need counseling, otherwise this relationship will end. It will not be fulfilling for you and you'll be unhappy and leave.

Answer

My husband doesn’t that shit. Or should I say did that shit. I hate it. So I flipped the script on him and now when he tries me I say “okay be mad but I’m more mad at you and actually have a reason. Then I leave and hit the gym or go to a friends house without texting him. I will get an I’m sorry text or call before the end of the night. Balls in my court. Then I go home and have sex. Then bed. 👌🏼😂 we don’t fight often but I now hold my ground. No bitch you can’t be mad for me being mad at you. Stop playing.

Answer

My boyfriend does that, did it recently. I came to see him, his neighborhood has a gate. I called as soon as I got on his exit. Called while at the gate. He called 10-15 minutes later while I had already turned around and was on my way home (30 minute drive). I was annoyed and didn’t answer. He texted me the next day saying “I don’t like what you did last night “. I’m like , are you serious? I’m a mom and literally only get one or two days out of the week when my daughter is with her father and I used that time to come see you. Mind you, I’m a chemistry major and I work. So this is 10 pm and I had work in the morning (7 a.m) and finals to study for. So instead of appreciating me coming, you tell me that you don’t like what I did and he also said “this is stressful “. So you expect me to, on the only day I have to myself as a single mom, to do what? Wait somewhere in a parking lot until you answer the phone ? And it’s 10 pm, I assumed he was asleep. Am I supposed to wait until 12 a.m for him to “maybe” answer the phone? 🙄 and then he says “well , you didn’t even ask me why I didn’t answer, I wasn’t home “. I’m like, if you know I’m literally on the highway on my way to your place. You should have texted or called letting me know you’re leaving and that you would be back. Not just ignore my texts and calls while I’m waiting at your neighborhood gate with all these damn people lining up behind me

Answer

Yup girl I know how you feel my partner does this at times and it bloody sucks :(

Answer

I know how you feel that exact thing happens between me and my fiance... Any time I ask a question or a favor he completely treats me like I'm 5 years old and stupid. I have broken down into complete tears and all that has done anytime I even mention my feelings is he treats me like total sh*t. I am upset way more than I am happy especially the last 6 months.

Answer

He sounds like a child

Am I not allowed to get mad?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products