How do you stay happy together?

Question

How do you keep your happiness? 
How do you stay together with your spouse for so long and REMAIN happy and content with each other? Without getting annoyed of every thing your spouse does or how they are? And nitpick things you don’t like? And argue about any and everything? We haven’t even had sex since I was 7 months pregnant! That’s a year and a half now! He’s feeling nervous about staying “up” now since it’s been a while. He knows to never feel embarrassed with me! I’ve made sure he knows that.
We were never like this!!! Our love is strong- or so I thought. But now we’re talking about divorce? This was never somewhere I thought we would be. 
We were happy!! I don’t get how we can go from the relationship we had before to THIS!? I don’t recognize this relationship. I don’t recognize him. I don’t recognize me! We are so different now! We have become so selfish and careless.
What went wrong?! I just feel like it was one thing after another. But we’ve been through many obstacles together - and we came out stronger! We had a special kind of relationship. A special kind of love! One that I thought was impenetrable!!! 
I just don’t know anymore. I feel so broken!

Answer

Here we go.. Re-engage saved our marriage.. it changed us so much. I could sit here forever and a day telling you where we came from to where we are now.. the truth is there is no better victory story than your own. We live life with God,Grace and forgiveness. I was raised Catholic and at some point in time i was too “busy” for god. It left room for other things to come into our marriage.. and that’s when we heard about Re-engage. It HELPED us. It Revived us. I never thought / dreamed about where we are today. I encourage you to search Re-engage, if you want to save your marriage this could be your answer. Good luck & God’s Love.

Answer

We’ve been together 8 years, married 2. We made a promise to practice being positive toward each other no matter what and it’s worked. Like saying nice things, treating each other like we just retarded dating and always kiss when someone leaves or com s back home. Just making the good things a habit.

Answer

Its important to keep your relationship fresh. Always make time for each other even with kids. You two still need alone time and a chance to remember why you actually fell in love. We try to keep spend time alone at least twice a week since he works nights. Even if it’s just laying in bed talking after our toddler goes to sleep. Also communication is what we just recently learned. And not the communication where you nitpick everything. lol actually “these are my feelings.. can we work on this” talking

Answer

In me and my Husband relationship we learn to forgive and forget. We talk about things head on when they are bothering us, We don’t bring up each other’s past etc. We recognize when we are wrong. We surprise each other every now and then with gifts etc.

Answer

Communicate everything even if it's hard, but if it's harsh make sure you say a few positive things first. We treat each other like we're still trying to impress and date. I like a quote I read one time, "do what you did at the beginning of your relationship and there won't be an end." It's easy to say when you're married that you're done trying to win over your SO. In reality it has just begun.

Answer

I can't tell if you're venting or really wanting answers to your questions. But...
First, happiness is a mood. It's not a constant state of being. Change your expectation and define what it is for you to have a successful life and you will more often recognize the good. 
To find and savor the goodness of an intimate relationship, you must believe the good when there is a gap between what you expect and what you experience. Most people are always trying to be their best self, but we're all human and slip up now and then. Practice patience, give the benefit of the doubt, try to catch them doing the right thing instead of the wrong, express gratitude often, be forgiving, offer them grace and understanding. 
When you repeatedly practice kindness and understanding towards your spouse, it makes them feel safe, understood, and accepted. It draws them closer to you. 
Andy Stanley has the most incredible video series on YouTube about this called "What Happy Couples Know." He includes a lot of religious references and even though I'm atheist, I found it all so insightful and powerful. 
From here, it may take you two some time to shift the direction you're going, but it can be done. Stop expecting him to be the reason it changes. Let the change start with you.

How do you stay happy together?

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