Another break up..
Where do I start, in fact, I don’t even know how to. Before anyone says anything I know I don’t have it that bad, I know there are people far worse off than me but my feelings are still valid! So read before you judge everyone has something going on for them!
At the start of this year I really did think it was going to be my year, I met someone in March, they were quite considerably older than me but nevertheless I was happy. It was my first ever relationship I hadn’t had sex ever yet (yes I know I’m 22) but I knew up until that point I’d wanted to wait. So that relationship ended in June after just two months. He couldn’t give me a relationship. So I got angry and over the summer period I spent it wallowing in my own self pity and anger. I mean, how could someone have sex with another person and supposedly have a relationship and then two months down the line is not able to do so anymore?
Late July I met my most recent boyfriend who I’ve just split with. He’s gone travelling to NZ, fair enough now. I really thought we could make things work. But clearly not. Somehow in all this I blame myself like how could I be so naive and stupid. What makes it worse is that we split via text. He was just too busy to consider me anymore and that wasn’t right. I am even more angry and the amount of trust issues I’m now going to have is beyond space.
I do look back on our relationship though and he always made me feel bad for wanting sex a lot of the time. I have a very high sex drive and I am quite a passionate person. He actually called me a nymphomaniac jokingly but part of me knew he was being serious. He only really cared about him cumming and not me and if I asked it was like a chore that’s how I look back on it.
So now I’m left feeling bruised and my pride is hurt and he wants to be friends, coming from someone who was supposed to love me and care about me thats the ultimate way to make me feel like shit. I feel like I’m going crazy.
Just a heads up, I have issues with anxiety and stress so that makes dealing with things very difficult for me.