Rough sex

I was in an abusive relationship for almost 4 years. I became used to rape that turned into rough sex. Enough to where I like it a little rougher than my current boyfriend likes to go. I like it when my pussy is swollen after and I can feel that we have had sex. I love having sex with him. I hated what my past abuser did to me. I hated it but accepted it. Now that's what I liked. He's only ever done that to me once. What do I do and what's wrong with me? He knows I like it rougher but just doesn't get into it