Do you ever really feel “ready” to start having kids?

Question

I’m 30 years old, married for 5 years, and my husband and I both have good careers and a wonderful marriage. We’ve always talked about having kids when we got to this point, but now that we’re about to start “trying”, I’m feeling really scared. I want children with my husband, but I’m afraid about how things will change for us once that happens. I’ve never had “baby fever” like many women I’ve talked to. So I’m curious if others have started trying for children without feeling ready to do so.

Answer

Same thing here. Married at 25 and in our 30s. We traveled the world together and now want kids. We’ve got great jobs and have developed a beautiful relationship. Still, never feels like you’re ready. I guess no one really ever is.

Answer

My husband and I were in the same boat. We’ve been together since we were 18 and got married at 25.  People would always ask about kids and I would always say “Oh, ask me when I’m 30.” Then I turned 30 and was freaked out that I was supposed to start trying and didn’t feel like we wanted to. It’s not that we didn’t want kids it just didn’t think about it as something we wanted now.  We went to Europe this year and attended 15 concerts and all the sudden at the end of summer we started to think “Okay, now what?” We more got to a point of knowing we needed to move onto the next step after living our lives and having fun together for such a long time so I stopped taking my BC and we found out I was pregnant a week before I turned 31 in October. So, to answer your question, we didn’t feel necessarily ready as much as feeling like the next step needed to be taken. We are very excited for our future child now but at the time of trying or talking about it we were very indifferent. Don’t worry - it will feel right when it is right!!

Answer

You are never ready or prepared. I have family who make 250k a year, have nice homes, great jobs, are comfortable financially, happily married, and they all said you are never ready for kids. You can have it all but each pregnancy and child is different. It helps if you have some savings and a home for your child of course, but also make sure you have energy. That's what I've been told anyway. I've been through a lot with people always asking me how I make it through the days -- you just do. You have to keep going and here I am, pregnant, still grieving, and trudging along. Just be strong for your baby and tell yourself it can be done.

Answer

My husband and I wanted kids and decided we would start trying after our wedding (we were together over 5 years when we got married and had lived together for 4.) I felt ready and then I got pregnant. It scared me since it was now real but I'm so excited and love my little man so much already! I don't think anyone is 100% ready no matter what the situation.

Answer

Been together since we were 17. Got married in her early 20s. Glad we had the opportunity to explore the world, travel,  go out, try news stuff etc... we had always said that 27/28 was when we wanted to start having children. We’ve now bought the house. We are financially stable. So it seems like the right time. Right now this seems like our next adventure.
There is definitely a part of me that is anxious about changing our lifestyle. I’ve been so used to just doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted for so long I’m sure it will be an adjustment to factor the baby into every decision.  But I’m still very happy and excited now that we are pregnant. And I didn’t want to wait too much longer to start trying for a family. I have a few friends that waited too long and have had a very difficult time getting pregnant.

Answer

I have an 8 year old daughter from a previous marriage and my new husband and I are trying to get pregnant now. It's something we want, and the negative tests totally bum me out, but I also feel like I would be freaked out if it was positive. I had my daughter fairly young (23) and it wasn't planned. Because of her age though, it scares me to start over with losing sleep, the anxiety of SIDS, putting an infant in daycare, wondering how helpful my husband will be, pumping again, what the family dynamic will be with my daughter, not having family nearby to do date nights or go anywhere (we love traveling). But... I want a bigger family so it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Answer

Once I believed youre never ready or prepared (which is true) I decided to do it. 2 days before I found out I was pregnant my SO and myself split. He wants me back now but thats irrelevant. Im 29. I ended up in the exact positiin I had tried years never to end up. Although Im a teacher and have a stable career and support myself financially, my situation is not ideal. You just have to be ready for whatever life brings when you conceive. You can try your best to plan but if you truly want them dont wait too long. Nothing will ever be absolutely perfect... well maybe until you get your little bubdle. 😊

Do you ever really feel “ready” to start having kids?

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