I need to vent

This have been the worst year of my life I don't know what's wrong with me I want to vent so bad. I just found out I have oral herpes type 1 I know I should be glad that it ain't the other one, but they look ugly to me & I never had them before & they came around the time I was emotionally stressing over this guy I really liked him & he took my virginity recently at least I could say I lose it at the age I'm currently at is 20 then the guy got his ex pregnant now they're together who told we may be together in the future not anymore I never liked someone so much it stress me out then I now currently like my guy friend, but doesn't want a relationship right now & I understand this have been a terrible year for me in a same amount of time & & now today I was looking at a video of how to get heal cold sore and there was comments saying " ewww herpes " or naw we need to know you have them & other mean comments I feel so embarrassed that I cry I'm not a dirty person I been so sensitive man my hair be messy my skin is dry & my cold sores are healthy I'm taking pill for them I haven't been taking care of myself like I used to my mom haven't be a good comfortable I feel so alone I'm so scare of my future I haven't be eating much cause I feel like I'm diseased I know I'm not but it's fucking with me I want to go cuddle with my homie boy but my cold sores i feel trap.