my bestfriend

my mom left me when i was very young and she has all her kids in 2s. my older brother ans sister are really close amd my younger brothers are super close but none of us grew up together outside of the 2s. my younger sister and i are about a year apart but she died when she was a baby die to neglect. ive always kinda been alone. i talk to her every night before i go to bed out loud. i dont sleep well at night and i just kinda wish she was here. i talk to her about how diffrent things would be if she was here. i feel like she kinda grew up with me though. i talk to her about everything and i cant sleep without tell her goodnight. i feel kinda stupid about it but shes my bestfriend. i was jw if anyone else does that or if its just me... heres some pictures of us.

does someone else have a similar situation, does it get easier. i just really feel alone. all my siblings tell stories from growin up together and im just like "yeah i decorate her grave often." i just feel left out ig