I hate Christmas SO much.

People call me a grinch and the like every single year, but its not that i hate CHRISTMAS, i just hate the way it makes me FEEL.

Ive been suffering from really bad depression, for a LONG time, and it gets really shitty around Christmas. Arguing with relatives, the same damn songs on a constant repeat, and the fake cheeriness of the WHOLE world pisses me off. On top of that, im not religious, so i dont have that awesome connection to the holiday either.

But i feel like i SHOULD like christmas! I live sparkly things, and cookies, and pretty carols! I dont get whats wrong with me.

I would just like to curl up in bed all day and bot do the whole thing, i dont even mind if i dont get presents.

It’s the season of joy and hope, but all i feel is this thing inside me, eating me up.