heavy heart


I had a miscarriage in October and i cant seem to move past. I have a passion for children thats greater than the universe. All ive ever dreamed of is becoming mother. Most children want to be a teacher, doctor,lawyer or police officer but all ive wanted was to be a mommy. to have a baby to love with all of my heart and soul. and i just dont feel like it will ever happen, we tried for a year and a half to get pregnant and my baby was gone before i even had the chance to ever hold her or him. How do you get over feeling your own flesh and blood being stripped from your body? How do you comw to terms with why dont i deserve a child but a woman who uses drugs or abuses their children do? How do you keep faith that you will have a baby. ivw bewn so depressed and havent even really talked about it. i feel like im drowing and i know how to swim but cant seem to catch a breath.