self preservation mode on...

a few weeks ago I made plans to go visit my (then) partner. (we have a situationship now... and I'm not too sure about our status... needless to say it's complicated and has been a roller coaster since October.

anyway, I told him I'd be coming over, so he'd open up for me but when I got there no one was answering. my uber already left, I stood in the rain calling until a relative of his came out to get me. It turns out he turned his phone off to take a nap. He didnt really apologize because he was upset about something else and I was so embarrassed that I cried. He didn't even notice. I didn't want to upset him further so I didn't bring it up.

fast forward to now, he wants me to come over and he also has a package for me. I can't bring myself to do it. I want my package but he does not want to come over. I'm making all these justifications as to why I should collect my stuff, but I can't physically do it because I keep remembering getting locked out and how embarrassed I was. it's like my brain is trying to protect me at any cost.

do you think it's wise to get over it and just go over to him?