Help, I’m afraid to have a girl because of my body image issues.

I have struggled with body image my entire life. As a teenager I went through periods of extreme diets (not eating at all, using fat burners, appetite suppressants, journaling what I ate, throwing up, exercising like crazy). I am always convinced I’m fat and horrible.

I have compared myself to my mom my whole life, it seems she’s always been on a diet as well. My whole life I fought with myself and found myself in competition with her always thinking she’s smaller than me.

Now that I’m pregnant, and she’s on a crazy exercise regime, she is really smaller than me for the first time probably ever and I find myself mad and angry with her.

I feel like I’m always making things up in my head and convincing myself of things that aren’t true.

I was married in August and thought I must have looked horrible, fat, ugly, make up was no good, hair was horrible, but after seeing my wedding video I was shocked by how beautiful, healthy, and strong I looked.

I really feel like I can’t get out of my own head and it’s affecting my mental health and my relationship with my mom.

Im so afraid to have a little girl and pass this onto her.

Anyone else?