Sadly desperate - looong read

Need some advice girls!! Been in my relationship 13 years married 8 with a 5 year old that I struggled to conceive.

So during our marriage on several occasions I found messages on my husbands phone, chatting to girls and very graphic photos. Every time he was sorry and explained it away.

He suffers with depression and it’s getting progressively worse. I really have tried supporting him, all I get is criticism, on how my body looks, my breasts, so now I feel insecure (never have)

On the 31st we were on a day trip (in laws staying with us) they wanted to go somewhere and our dog couldn’t. I offered to watch her and sit around for 3 hours basically while they explore. Foolishly thinking they’d say don’t be silly we’ll do something together ... well they were like that’s luck as there is no parking and was out the car in a shot. This is after Ive been cooking and cleaning and clearing up like a nanny.

I was so hurt and angry when we got home I left and went to celebrate new years with a friend. I told him I need to leave as I’m loosing myself. None of them see what my problem is his mom is now ignoring me and making me feel super uncomfortable 😩

He is so depressed he hardly speaks to me in day to day life. He blames me for his feelings. And we have sex about 5 tines a year, no foreplay or kissing just super disconnected doggy style.

Am I selfish! Were my vows not for better or for worse!?