Am I over reacting ?

My husband and I have been arguing over the same topic since a few months after we got married. Kids. It’s honestly a long a drawn out story so here is the gist.

Even though he won’t admit it, my husband has major guilt over his daughter and his divorce. When she is around or we try to plan anything significant, he makes decisions that benefit her instead of the group. He is a dad first and husband second which leaves me feeling like I cant compete. She always wins and all he sees is her. Example: when my son and I first moved into his apartment, her bedroom couldn’t be touched. It was the largest room in the place and she only was there 8 Days out of the month. He said he wasn’t going to make her give up her room. He also told me not to put up too many of my pictures because he didn’t want her to feel bad.

Let’s fast forward to the reason I’m writing this post. I just looked at his Instagram because he posted a picture and tagged me in it. It was a picture of his daughter. When I went to his profile I noticed that there were 6 pictures of her out of 29. From now through May. Doesn’t sound like a lot does it? Do you know how many pictures there are of me or us? One. And it was a family picture so she was in it. There’s a total of 8 pictures that I’m in. The last time he posted a picture of us was in May at a friends wedding. The next day I miscarried. I am so hurt and upset. You have to understand that there are so many times that he has put her above our family and it’s to the point that it feels like a competition. One that I always loose. So this seemingly innocent oversight is nothing but icing on the ever growing cake. We actually have sought counseling and had our first session last Saturday.

On Sunday he took a picture of just her. I asked him to take a picture for my 27 weeks and he said, tomorrow. I asked him 15 minuets before the new year to take one last picture of 2017. He said no. That if I wanted to , to just take it of me and my son.

Instead of a New Years kiss he told me that my jealousy with her had to stop and we had to do better in the new year. I felt scolded and taken by surprise.

I feel stupid for being jealous of a nine year old but I also think it’s his fault that’s things are this bad. I’m just so sick of feeling like this!