Dear Killer Called Justin

You, Moji, are the reason that I wanted to die, to starve, to forget everything and be calm again. I still want to die, you hurt me without knowledge of what I would do with such hatred and violence. I could never hurt you, you have made me cry and break beyond repair. I then again thank you for realizing that I don't deserve you or anyone and that I don't deserve to live. You made me realize that I was nothing more than a mere shadow of what you are. That no one would ever love me as much as I loved you. Nobody would hurt as much as you made me. For that, I just love you endlessly for poor reason. I cannot live with the lie that you ever thought of me as more that a freak. The freak that slashed her wrist and was happy about it.

I don't know why I loved and love you. You have made me suicidal, depressed, lonely, and, most of all, forgotten. I never should have fallen for your glowing eyes or curly jet black hair or smile that the gods all admired. I never should've loved someone so popular, caring, fascinating, purely wonderful as you. You are all I've ever dreamed of and more. You are the sadness that is so sweet that I was engulfed in. You are the reason for all of my choices, all of my tears. Everything.

-Loralei Nerezza Thana (that's my alter ego but all of the names mean sad and terrible things, just like I am)