Depression // hate my body !

Im 15 im 5,4 tall and weight 130. I feel so fat and I cry because I feel like I’m worthless I’m going through so much problems and I feel like they just add up . I sometimes think about killing myself because i feel really un confident in my body , I think about starving and running all the time scared to gain weight . I can’t eat nothing with out look st the calories number on the back because I start getting anxious. I talked about it with my mom but I’m afraid to go to a therapist.