Insomnia

Can’t seem to catch some sleep. A lot of thoughts going through my mind. Please help me out here ladies:

There’s this guy whom I have been friends with for 9 years. He has seen and helped me through the most terrible break up I’ve ever had. I have always liked him and vice versa but somehow we both convinced ourselves that we’re better off as friends. However somewhere along the lines last year we made out and we have been at it ever since (can’t keep our hands off each other). My issue is I like him a lot and want more than just friends but don’t know if he wants same. Don’t want our friendship to be destroyed. How do I find out how he truly feels without damaging consequences?

The complication of the matter is am in a long distance relationship another guy who’s parents HATES our relationship for reasons he doesn’t know( NB I can’t remember the last time we did it). My gut keeps telling me to quit but don’t have the courage cos am afraid to hurt him.

Not that I don’t love my bf, I do but confused. He never has time for us to talk or let me see him when am in his vicinity( I go there with him in mind only to be told am “busy and stressed out “. I have tried to raise up how am feeling for discussions but am always given the “ busy card”. He doesn’t call if I don’t, doesn’t let me in on what is going on in his life anymore and our conversation has turned into “how are yous and I was checking up on you”. It is making me draw more intimately closer to my friend who has been consistently checking up on for the best 9 years and continues when he is a country afar.

1. I am thinking Things will change between us with time if I endure but am afraid my friend will pull away

2. That I will destroy my friendship if my friend sees things as I see cos probably he is just having fun with me.

What do I do?