Hey girls, so I’m fairly new to this but I’m really lost in the moment and don’t know what to do. Ever since the new year my boyfriend has been distant and questioning a break, he didn’t know what he wanted even tho we’ve been going out for about a year. We still talked, but I didn’t see him for a while. Then the other day I surprised him at his house and he was extremely happy to see me and he basically showed me that he wants to be with me and I have nothing to worry about, but then that night he brought up the break again. He ended up telling me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now and I was listening and being understanding, but I told him that it was hurtful. My boyfriend has severe depression, but refuses to get help for it. So once I told him that I felt hurt he just shut down and said he wouldn’t bring it up again. After that he didn’t answer me so I presumed he didn’t want to talk to me. Assuming that I was trying my best to not text him first and I kept telling myself that he would talk to me if he wanted to talk to me. But then Friday night rolls around, we’re still not talking, but he’s posting things on his social media talking about his suicidal thoughts and his depression. The things is he sometimes does this just to let it out, but this time it was different. It got me really concerned because one of his posts talking about how he started to self harm again. A lot of people began to hit me up asking what’s going on but I couldn’t answer because I really didn’t know. I was genuinely so scared and concerned because I love him so much and he deserves to live. I didn’t know if I should’ve texted him, but I felt like if I did he just wouldn’t answer or continuously answer with “idk” just based on previous experiences like this with him, but this time other people seeing his posts and I were concerned. I finally decided to cal his mom, I was really scared to, I didn’t want to over step boundaries, but I felt like that was the best thing to do. I began to tell her the things he’s saying and that I’m scared and she was shocked because my boyfriend doesn’t talk to her about how he’s feeling. The phone call ended, then an hour later I get a text message from him asking if I told his mom, and then he said he knew. He began to say some really hurtful things and making me feel bad. He told me that this made him lose all trust, even tho I’ve never hindered his trust before. I like really don’t know what to do at this point, I care about him so much and I want him to get the help he needs and to get better, but now I feel like I fucked everything up. I opened a whole can of worms and I can’t take it back. I wish I could and I’m just so conflicted and hurt and scared right now. My close friends think he might “come to his senses” in a few days and realize I just want the best for him, but I’m scared he’ll hold a grudge forever. I feel like it’s my fault and that we won’t be able to have any kind of relationship ever again because of this. I really just don’t know what to do, I’m sorry, thank you for listening.