does it get better?

i delivered my son at 8 months last month and he was stillborn. there's no reason behind it, just completely random. i'm trying to figure out how to make a new normal for myself but i constantly think about him and how everything happened. i feel like i'm going insane just always questioning "what if" things should have been different. this shouldn't of happened to me. i had everything for him, i was completely prepared for his arrival. and now i came home from the hospital without my baby boy 😣 but what i'm wondering is for people who have experienced such a tragic loss, does this get better? the emptiness feeling i've had since i found out he passed inside me and then leaving without him. will this pain go away?

and this is my baby boy 💚 he's so perfect