I just can’t!

I’ve been rubbing my belly since I started to ovulated, talking to this kid to just please hold on tight. And tonight as I get out the shower I’m heartbroken. I was washing myself and a string of blood came out and it all went crashing down. My period is due on the 22nd. Wtf I’m so tired. I stood there trying to convince myself that it’s implantation blood but why keep lying to myself I have no symptoms at all... not one!! I’m tired of all these test that don’t even work. I just want to scream and cry and everyone just stop saying it will happen when you least expect. Just stop stressing about it. well you know what fuck off is what I really want to tell you. Goshhhhh!!!!