Anyone scared of gaining more weight?

I used to be in a lot better shape. Worked out 6 days a week. And had a tight stomach now I just feel bleh. Every time I go into the gym I feel bad about myself so I dont want to be there. I never thought I’d let myself go like this but here I am. I’ve tried losing the weight (I know how to) I’m in a calorie deficit, 40 mins cardio a day and still not lost a pound. It’s so frustrating at this point. I want to get pregnant again but I’m sad to start my pregnancy at this weight and gain even more on top of it. Just needed to vent, sorry guys 😫

I used to look like this⤵️

Not so much anymore 😂